Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28
I laid there tossing and turning. I was consumed with a situation that happened at my daughter’s school and no conclusion I could come up with in my mind would settle me down. Finally, at 2am, I got up, defeated, and walked downstairs and watched TV.
I often say to my husband that those years of having baby after baby I got so use to little sleep that now on nights I don’t rest well I am worthless the whole next day.
I guess I dozed off in the recliner and woke up at 6am to the sound of the coffee pot going off. Instantly, this situation at school came back into my thoughts. It was a misunderstanding that got so blown out of proportion that none of us involved knew how to steer it back on course.
I poured a BIG cup of coffee and prayed, “Lord, only you can sort this out and make complete order out of chaos. I have to give it to you today or I will literally crawl out of my skin”. True prayer. Honest and real. I didn’t know what else to say except if I spent any amount of time reliving what happened I was going to lose my mind.
I forced myself to get on with my day. I got the kids ready for school, gym, groceries, etc… If I’m honest all I wanted to do was crawl in bed and watch House Hunters all day. I continued to pray throughout the day. Many times it was simple “Lord, fix this” or “I feel anxious, help me”.
Sadly, the end of the day came and the situation wasn’t any better and what made it worse was the fact it was a Friday. When you have issues at school that need resolving and you hit Friday then you know one thing: more sleepless nights till we get till Monday. I dreaded the weekend. I didn’t want to do anything or be nice to anyone or even go to church. I wanted to just hide aways because of this dark cloud over us.
Friday night brought tossing and turning again. I managed to fall asleep around 2 but woke up early. “OK Lord, today has to be different. I prayed all day yesterday and I’m grateful it got me through the day. Today, I need to completely surrender this. ”
I picked up my bible and started reading. As I got to Psalm 56 I nearly jumped out of my chair. Is this what I think it says? Did King David actually write this?
You have seen me tossing and turning through the night. You have collected all my tears and preserved them in your bottle! You have recorded every one in your book. Psalm 56:8
It was as God himself wrote that on a sticky note to me and put it on my bathroom mirror. You see me in my tossing and turning and my sleepless nights. You know, Lord. You know. (As I sat in church yesterday, 4 months after this happened, my pastor shared the same verse and it made me smile)
This verse changed the trajectory of my weekend. I was able to enjoy my family and worry less. Yes, it crept in but I fought hard against it. I had my Abba Father in heaven watching over me as I sleep and as I wake. The story ends well but for that next night — I slept all night and woke up, went to church, and was renewed in my understanding that He also will give you heart rest and physically rest. The victory wasn’t in a resolved, positive situation at school. The victory was me remember His promises to watch over me as a father to a child. He calmed the sea in my mind and brought about a supernatural rest.